Published: March 25, 2018, 4:30 PM
Updated: April 29, 2018, 4:18 PM
Just two friends hanging out
By Joe Duarte
The premise of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee is that Jerry Seinfeld picks up a famous funny person in a “nice” car and they drive to a cafe or restaurant for a coffee or meal, where they talk about their careers and life in general. Roughly half of each 20-minute episode is spent in driving footage, the other half in the establishment. Outside of Seinfeld’s introduction about the car, little else is said about the vehicle. Still, there are some great 1-line assessments of the car in each episode.
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“I like that I can actually drag my knuckles on the street.”
It’s somehow appropriate that a car named “Jolly” would have it’s own episode on Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. The Fiat 600 Jolly was created by Ghia from a Fiat 600 starting in 1958 (and after its acceptance, also from a 500) and intended primarily for the wealthy, believe it or not, who could have them on their mega-yachts to drive off into town after docking at some wealthy marina. It was made to American specs and a fleet of them performed taxi duty on Santa Catalina Island, off the coast of Los Angeles, in the early ’60s. It counted Aristotle Onasis, Yul Brynner and Grace Kelly among its affluent owners, and is actually in demand today, though replicas are being passed off as originals. Among its quirky features are wicker seats, a bimini top and absence of doors, leading Louis to remark “I like that I can actually drag my knuckles on the street.”
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“It’s sensible but fun.”
Probably best known as a co-star of Roger Moore in The Saint television series, the Volvo 1800 arose out of Volvo’s desire to market a sporty car, but it almost didn’t happen. Volvo talked to Kharmann about producing the car (from a Volvo internal design) but at the 11th hour in negotiations, Volkswagen reportedly objected due to the P1800 being too similar to cars Kharmann was making for VW. Volvo abandoned the project but later reconsidered and got English-maker Jensen Motors to produce the first couple model years before moving production to Sweden. The 1800 was thoroughly Volvo, meaning it had all the longevity and safety expected from the marque, but in fun bodystyle, something Jerry says reminds him of Tina Fey (one of the hardest working and career-driven women in comedy) — “It’s sensible but fun.”
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“If you're a young guy and things are breaking your way, that's what you need.”
Trevor Noah is a comedian from South Africa, who became the International Correspondent on The Daily Show in 2014, and then took over hosting duties from Jon Stewart in 2015. Jerry chose the 1985 Ferrari 308 GTBi for his visit with up-and-coming comedian Noah because the car is one that “make people look, and if you're a young guy and things are breaking your way, that's what you need.” It’s also one of 748 produced — 56 for the US, with just 3 in white. (Credit: Wikimedia Commons/robotriot)
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“A car for guys who want a sports car but don't want to be inconvenienced.”
Actor, comedian, writer and producer Alec Baldwin is picked up in the 2-seat roadster, and he and Jerry head to Midtown New York, where Baldwin offers some old stories while doing passable impressions of the person he is talking about. The Mercedes-Benz SL has been around since the mid-’50s, and the 1970 version was near the end of the generation that followed the legendary gull-wing coupe and equally-attractive roadster. Seinfeld described the 280 SL as “A car for guys who want a sports car but don't want to be inconvenienced.” (Credit: Wikimedia Commons/Spurzem)
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“Old-school cupholders – people. ‘Here hold this for me.’”
Jerry picks up Sarah Jessica Parker in the 1976 Ford LTD Country Squire she had just purchased. If you’re like Jerry, you’re wondering why anybody would want a big wasteful, fake-wood-sided car such as this. Nostalgia, she explains: “I grew up in a car like this. I spent so much time in the back of that car.” And the two spend the episode talking about their families and growing up. The episode highlights some of the features of the car – the too-loud clicking of the turn signal, the wallowy ride, roof rack to hold the family luggage for the roadtrip, “old-school cupholders – people. ‘Here hold this for me,’” too-tight lap-belts, the cushy leather front bench that “the entire family had to get behind the moving of the seat,” the side-facing cargo area seats that fold into the floor, and the whiff of fuel that came from gas-guzzling big American cars of the time. (Credit: Wikimedia Commons/Josephew)
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“Incredibly masculine and incredibly feminine at the same time.”
Many people consider the Lamborghini Miura as the most beautiful car ever designed. Mind-blowingly powerful and gorgeous in its presentation (including headlamps that look as if they have eyelashes), it is as Jerry points out “incredibly masculine and incredibly feminine at the same time.” When it was introduced it was so different, that it blew everybody away — a happening Jerry says reminds him of Chris Rock, who hit the comedy scene with “in-your-face” originality in the late-’80s before joining the Bad Boys of Saturday Night Live (alongside Chris Farley, Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider and David Spade).
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“I will not be going quietly.”
The 1969 Pontiac GTO dubbed The Judge got its names from Ferrari’s GTO and the Laugh-In TV show comedic bit “Here Come Da Judge.” A low-cost trim level, The Judge initially came only in orange and featured unique items such as blacked out grille, hidden headlights, a hood tachometer and RamAir hood scoops, wider tires and a rear spoiler that was useless at everyday speeds. Jerry says it tells the world “We’ll decide what’s right” and “I will not be going quietly,” which made it the perfect coffee-shop shuttle car for radio shock-jock Howard Stern, a celebrity who rose to fame on doing things his way and never apologizing for it. (Credit: Wikimedia Commos/Sicnag)
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“Anonymity is not something you think about as being valuable.”
The 1963 Corvette Stingray is renowned less for its performance (unlike other Corvettes) and more for its strikingly good looks that make it look like a submarine, says Jerry. “It looks like you could drive right into the water and keep going.” With the door into roof design and split rear windows, it’s a car that’s meant to stand out just by its looks alone. You can’t be anonymous in a 1963 Stingray, which may be a problem when you’re trying to get somewhere without being noticed. As President Barrack Obama (not a comedian but Jerry makes an exception because he regularly throws out 1-liners like a pro) points out, “anonymity is not something you think about as being valuable.”
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“How a car should feel like Christmas.”
One of the auto industry’s most mysterious cars, the Avanti is best known for its time after it ceased production. Studebaker wanted a sporty car to compete with Corvette, and the unique thing it could offer was room for four. It was powerful and desirable, but those who wanted them couldn’t get them. The car is a favourite of comedian/actor/writer J.B.Smoove (best known for his time on Curb Your Enthusiasm), though he’d never even been in one. Smoove says the Avanti “is how a car should feel like Christmas,” oohing and aahing over features such as the glove box pull-out make-up vanity, and doors that open out to nearly 90 degrees. (Credit: Wikimedia Commons/Rex Gray)
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“Exactly what James Bond needed when it was time to save the world.”
Jerry equates Julia Louis-Dreyfus as a comedic James Bond — she is dapper, dashing, distinguished; she is handed an impossible comedic mission and she absolutely kills it. That’s why he chose the quintessential Bond car, the 1964 Aston Martin DB5, about which he says “No other car could possibly have been exactly what James Bond needed when it was time to save the world.” Louis-Dreyfus is taken by the shape and presentation of the body by Carrozzeria Touring Superleggera, and the leather seats and wool carpets, glossing over the all-aluminum engine to admit “I’m not a car person but I must say ‘It’s lovely, this car.’” (Credit: Wikimedia Commons/DeFacto)
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“Proved a small car with a small engine could beat a big car with a big engine.”
The RSK Spyder, as Jerry points out, “was the car Porsche used to prove a small car with a small engine could beat a big car with a big engine.” Which makes it perfect for his guest Kevin Hart — “Kevin doesn’t take up a lot of space either, but he is one of the most fun guys in the world.” The RSK Spyder is not a street car, so as you’d expect from a race car, it’s very loud. The cabin also has two seats, because that’s part of the series rules, but is not meant to carry a passenger, unless they’re small like Hart. It also doesn’t have sufficient wind protection (because the driver is always wearing a helmet and/or racing goggles, and it has rollover protection only for the driver.
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“The mobile version of Las Vegas.”
Don Rickles made a career out of insulting his audience, an act he calls “a form of psychiatry.” Together with Frank Sinatra and the Rat Pack, Rickles helped make an entertainment Mecca out of Las Vegas, so that made him a perfect complement to the 1958 Cadillac Eldorado Seville, a car Jerry called “the mobile version of Las Vegas,” but one that in the late 1950s showed passers-by that the driver was at the top of whatever game you played. But perhaps the best description is that it’s “a car as thrilled with itself as you are.” (Credit: Wikimedia Commons/GTHO)
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“Crazy little design ideas that together make up a great car.”
One of the iconic American cars, the 1957 Chevrolet Bel Air is a compilation of “crazy little design ideas that together make up a great car,” says Jerry, pointing out the fuel-filler flap hidden in the left tailfin just above the taillight, before he picks up comedian/show host Steve Harvey in what Harvey admits is his dream car. The two end up discussing how a stand-up routine is itself a compilation of crazy little bits that, if they work right, end up making a great show. And just like a great show, people remember the Bel Air and it puts smiles on their faces when they do. (Credit: Wikimedia Commons/Sicnag)
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"Hear that? That's the sound of virginity."
Jon Stewart’s first car was a 1978 AMC Gremlin, which he bought for the fuel cap Gremlin logo he says “was the nicest thing on the car.” Jerry says it was built “to compete with the Chevrolet Vega and Ford Pinto, which were horrible cars, and compete it did. The Gremlin was even more horrible,” with Stewart adding that at the time in New Jersey, young men would use the Gremlin as a form of contraception to insure “they would never, ever have sex,” saying that the engine note is “the sound of virginity.” Halfway through the episode and unwilling to drive it any longer, Jerry swaps into a 1969 AMX — the complete opposite end of the spectrum. (Credit: Wikimedia Commons/CZMarlin)
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Made for the Japanese domestic market, the 1967 Mazda Cosmo Sport has a “great Japanese ’60s secret-agent vibe,” says Jerry. “It’s different; it’s unusual; it’s rare; it’s unique,” like Margaret Cho, comedienne, actress and creator/star of the ABC-sitcom All-American Girl. Cho has been surrounded by controversy from an early age and has a unique way of looking at the world around her, and has inspired other comedians to be controversial with their content. Likewise, the Cosmo was the first car to use the German-designed Wankel rotary engine, served as Mazda’s flagship for its 30-year run and paved the road for Mazda’s RX line of cars. (Credit: Wikimedia Commons/Taisyo)
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“If you don’t like ‘weird,’ Saab’s not for you.”
One of the early cars from the Swedish maker, the 1965 Saab 96 Monte Carlo 850 “sounds weird; it feels weird; it runs weird,” Jerry adds that “if you don’t like ‘weird,’ Saab’s not for you.” Although, his guest Fred Armisen (SNL alumnus and the creator/star of the sketch comedy TV show Portlandia) says it’s attractive in its simplicity, pointing out the “pretty” dashboard that has “no fat; no nonsense.” Armisen’s show is set in Portland, Oregon, which is rabid in its coffee culture, though Jerry points out the city thrives on people doing whatever they want, which is like Saab — “whatever everybody else is doing, we’re not doing that.” Armisen adds that no matter how specific a clientele they target, Portland businesses are successful.
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“Projects power, grace and style.”
Jerry says the 1968 Jaguar E-Type Series 2 looks like Sarah Silverman, equating the two in the way they “project power, grace and style,” though she asks if that means he thinks she’s an “elitist douchebag.” Silverman admits she loves Jaguars but she’s not a car person and doesn’t believe in spending money on cars. She can appreciate the slinky and sexy looks of the convertible, but she’s mostly taken in by all the switches on the instrument panel, not because of the array but because she loves to press all buttons. (Credit: Wikimedia Commons/Brooksbro69)
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“Your knees are my bumper.”
You know how Jim Gaffigan was the face of the new Chrysler Pacifica minivan when it came out? It’s because he was the perfect pitchman as the urban family man living in a small apartment, and that’s what Jerry calls the 1977 Volkswagen Westfalia camper because of the space efficient features — cooktop, sink, closets/cupboards and even a bedroom. Although he’s used to small living spaces, Gaffigan doesn’t feel completely safe in the van, asking where they put the engine and pointing out that there’s no front end, to which Jerry remarks “your knees are my bumper.”
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“It makes you feel good because it feels good.”
The 1958 Bentley S1 Continental is a car that shows off that you’ve made it and you’re loving living the life. It’s a lot like Cedric the Entertainer, says Jerry — “a guy who’s made it, lives it and loves it.” He comes out of his hotel to meet Jerry in a bathrobe over a Muhammad Ali T-shirt and makes no apologies about it except to tell hotel manager, “I’ll bring the robe back.” Cedric and Jerry reminisce about Ali in his prime, saying that everything in Ali’s prime was “larger than life” and kids growing up in that time assumed it would always be that way — doing what you want, in the way you want and making no apologies about it — and the Bentley embodied that philosophy, as Jerry explains “it’s slanty; it’s swoopy; it’s irrelevant ... it makes you feel good because it feels good.”
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“Makes you feel your deepest human emotions.”
Jerry introduces the 1971 Ferrari Daytona 365 GTB/4 as “an attractive, powerful, exciting, intense and charismatic machine that makes you feel your deepest human emotions,” which manifested themselves in Jerry’s demeanor when the car broke down. However, the show pressed on with Amy Schumer, whom Jerry says “has some horsepower — stand-up, TV, movies — when you can do all that, you belong in a Ferrari.” And in keeping with the broken-down-Ferrari theme, the two talked about the drama and issues in their lives and not much about the Fly Yellow Daytona waiting to get underway again.
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“Honest, hard-working, unfussy, not out to impress, and built to last.”
Kristen Wiig is of Norwegian descent and admittedly loves old Volvos, so what better car to pick her up in, than a 1964 Volvo 122S, described by Jerry as “the essence of great ’60s’ Swedish value — honest, hard-working, unfussy, not out to impress, and built to last.” And he adds that it’s perfect for the hipster neighbourhood in which Wiig lives. Over the years, Volvos have become valued as much for their hipster quotient as for their safety systems, and the 122S is notable as the first production car with front seat 3-point belts. (Credit: Wikimedia Commons/Berthold-Werner)
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